-_-.... du lan day.....

Today is a du lan day.... actually not the day lar.... just the morning....

Haiz....

Had a lousy soccer session today... actually i was quite enthusiatic to be the keeper again.... but well.... can't stand the noise.... the manager seem to be very buay song with me... then every time let in a goal.... show me the really black face... then start to make noise over every goal i let in...

Starting still ok... but as the black face keep showing up.... i see liao also damm du lan.....

Then somemore i tihnk i machiam like a waterboy like that... kena push around the 2 teams... just like the case in DOTA.... nobody wantes somebody who will cause them to loose what.... what feeder lar....noob lar... let people farm only lar.... all the ugly words starts coming out...

In the end what happened?

I proved the guy wrong with an overwhemling victory in a 1 on 1....
Maybe you can say it's the hero i use.... i used VS.... he got Tidehunter...
So how ever unfair... it was still fair.... it was random... not chosen...

Oh well... but i guess these noise never fail to stop.... from last time basketball.... touch the ball only kena liao... till now... soccer...


Haiz...

I quite sick of defending myself.... because everytime i do that... then there will be people who will be making somemore noise over it....

But i just want to say my piece....

Personally.... i am a good gamer in every sport.... that is ... i try my best to perform..... i don't receive money from other teams... neither do i purposely fail to perform....
Being the goal keeper.... i am considered like the most important defender.... me and me alone.... the pressure is defintely there....
When i save a goal.... fine.. that's my job... but when i miss one.... i get all the blame....

Fair or not?

Fine... maybe you want to blame it on my reaction... or whatever.... is there a need to speak so rudely to your fellow team mate... and show the black face?
If i am a professional player... fine.. kena screw by coach... normal...
But hey... we are playing this for recreation..... i don't know about the rest... but i am defintely playing it for leisure...though it doesn't mean i don't give a damm about the game...

Like i say... i am a good gamer... i do want to achieve... and perform...

In the first place.... i don't have much interest in this sport.. but i still come becuase of friends... and i do my outmost to defend.... but if this is the attitude i am going to receive.... and seriously.... don't bother calling me anymore....

I dont' want to come to a stage... where i have to shout at a friend... curse and swear... quarrel... then have a cold war....

I don't like that.... i have done it before... and i know it's not good...

In fact... halfway through.... i went to cool myself down.. on the pretext of going to the toilet.... i took a long slow walk to Hougang point... dragging time... because i seriously don't want to play anymore....
After that... i walked over to the basketball court near the street soccer area... then i just sit down there... watching the kids play basketball.... thinking through stuffs....

Think i sat there for around 45 minutes.... just stoning around....

I guess... afterall.... basketball is then my thing... a sport that you truly enjoy... no matter how much noise others make.... you will still carry on to play...
Like nowadays.... i don't really give a damm about any noise made... unless it is unseful to the game.... or it is put in a i can hear it way... not a rude or bloody anyhow say out of the anger remark....
I am confident to say... i can hold the ball in my own court now... no thanks to all the past noises made...

The thing is...i don't mind receiving comments.... but don't treat me like a dog... scolding whenever you like... talking to me like i am you subordinate...
I am not...

I do take comments seriously... but if they are going to be made because you are unhappy... and you transfer the unhappiness back to me.... just be warn... this dog can bite... and it will be painful...

But well... as a mature adult... and having to take up so much responsibilities in camp... i ahve learnt to be more tolerant.... and that's why i chose to exit myself.... before i do anything out of the ordinary...

Even when i returned to the court... i also don't want to play anymore... i just gave a simple reason that my toe is bleeding....
Well.... it's abit true though... some abrasion... no bleeding... from yesterday's basketball....

Well.... guess i have made my point.... anyway the whole morning i also don't ahve much mood to talk anymore... was silent throughout the meal with them....
I am really beginning to think that.... i don't seem to be part of them anymore.... Sometimes i see myself like an idiot puppet.... with them playing my strings... play DOTA.... get away from our team....join the opposition... adn to think i am the other one who went over... but in end the team i am in still thrash them....
Play soccer... go some other team....FO.....
When going out... drive us here lar... drive us home... go here... go there.....

Haiz.... this are my true feelings....

And believe me... somebody will comment back on it....

But before you do that... please do think through what i have said... and what you are going to say...
It may be a selfish thought... a biased one... but hey... if i am thinking this way... something must be wrong somewhere...
So go think about it.... and please do not make any smart alex comments... they are stupid to begin with.... if you don't have any reasonable comments... keep them to yourself for entertainment pleasure....

I guess i made my point..... so long....

If you think i am not refering to you... then it most probably is so.... but if you feel guilty of whatever i say.... it could be you....
But well... jsut some food for thought.... take it.. or throw it away... up to you...

Think i will be heading back to camp later...