Oh man...

Oh man... i just committed a very serious sin.... it's gruesome and horrible....

Darn....

I just killed a rat....

Ok... to be fair... i wouldn't say i intentionally wanted to kill it... here's the story...

I as cycling home after my life-saving lesson... and upon nearing my house... out of the corner of my eye... i saw a shadow darting across my bicycle... in between the 2 wheels... very near to the back wheel...
Next thing i know... i felt a "thud"... and i instantaneously recall that i did see something dart past... and so i went back for a look...
And there it was... the rat... lying sideways... motionless...

I didn't see any other visible injuries... maybe it was too dark.... but i think i saw some liquid around it... can't make out what it was though...

I was kinda stunned... i just stared at it for some time... and at last.... seeing that it won't jump back to life... and i don't think i should handle it in anyway... i mean... rats are not exactly the cleanest animals around... especially street rats... and thus... i went back home...

The feeling of the "thud"... suddenly going over something... alive.... can't describe it man.. it just felt absolutely sick...... Arrghhh......

Oh man.... I've just killed a living thing.... think it's my first time on a mammal....

But hey.... it just suddenly dart out.... i couldn't have stopped in time... in fact.. if i had e-brake... i think my back wheel would either be standing on top of it... or drag it across the road.... it would have been worst...

Although in a way.. I know it's not exactly my fault... I couldn't have prevented it... i was going at some speed... and another fact is that... well... rats are not exactly a very acceptable mammal on our society... or should i say.... they are considered pest... so it should be good to exterminate them...

But my inner soul... well... feels that i would rather not have done any killing... it's so sick... and it's against my soul.....
I mean.. though i still eat meat and stuffs, i don't do the killing... so it's still acceptable...
I still remember there was once when i went for a steamboat, and my friends just threw the live prawns into the hot soup and hot plate... i felt so disgusted...

I absolutely do not wish to kill man....

Arrgghhh.....

What's done is done... forgive me ok, rat?

I pray that your soul will go in peace....

Ok.. go sleep liao.. tomorrow still got to go for ICT briefing....